INTERNATIONAL TALL DWARFS WELCOME YOU TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF STUMPY THE ALBUM.

- Why International Tall Dwarfs, boys?
Well, Jennifer, in the packaging of our last [wonderful & underrated] release, "3 E.P.s" we asked people to send us their fragments of music/sound/noise on cassette so's we could build songs over the top of 'em. 17 bods obliged [from Scotland to Croatia via Hamilton] and well, there you have it. A global conspiracy to make your sonic taste buds tingle!

- And who is 'Stumpy'?
Who isn't? We're not all sylphlike waifs & even if we were we'd wear protective clothing.

- Just how long have you two been inflicting your perverse concept of music on our delicate sensibilities?
Since 1981 in this form, Cynthia, prior to which we were the motive power behind ...

- Yeah, yeah, we all know that tired old story! Isn't it about time you invested in some state-of-the-art digital stuff?
Look, Deirdre, we havn't yet come to grips with the technical workings and conceptual problems [let alone a tuning standard] of our casiotones, kazoos, mellotrons & larynxes. We prefer to leave the computerised doodlings to our more technologically competent siblings & really, what could be more beautiful than a backwards toy piano?

- Brad Pitt. And what's this 20 minute two chord waffle on sides 3 & 4?
Filler. But sometimes we like it ... Anyway, you've got 21 other great songs to play with [most round the 2 minute mark] so why pick on our sole piece of self-indulgence.

- Sole piece! You jest!!
O.K. All right, but y'know, some of these tapes we got were ... a challenge ... and by christ, we rose to it! Making silk pigs out of soused ears ... or something. No, Sylvia, we stand by our record. We made the little bastard for better or worse & we will not stand here & have it maligned. "Stumpy" is the best thing we've ever done!!! Mind you, we haven't listened to the other stuff for a while ...

- Who has ... with both of you embroiled in solo careers, has Tall Dwarfs just become a clearing-house for half-baked ideas that wouldn't make it onto your own records?
You could say that, you'd be 100% wrong but don't let that stop you. Yeah, the ideas are products of instantaneous musical problem-solving so there's that sort of unfinished, unpolished feel about 'em but that's half the point, Yolanda, it leaves you, the listener, some room to extend the collaboration beyond our two selves, the O/S cassette couriers & our courageous record company. You, too, are part of "Stumpy", just plug in and be happy!

- Aren't yousick of this "Lo-fi" thing?
Lo-tech! Lo-fibre, Lo-cholesterol, Lo-life [Lo-bo were an awful band] Lo-mu, Lo-over Tasmania bringing scattered showers. We subscribe to none of this and embrace it all, next!

- You really get a kick out of being wilfully obscure, huh?
Nah, we just hafta write our lyrics really quicly & ... um ... it seems that our scarcely concealed subconciouses are not crystal clear as to their intentions. Who can blame them? And, musically, we just love the coagulation of odd noises & simple melodies ... it's all just play, Roxanne.

- But some of your words are really serious ...
Yeah, it's a dag, that. Cos we're just a couple of happy-go-lucky mortgage-paying family fellows with a desire to eat lots, sleep heaps & indulge in enormous amounts of ...

- Thanks, chaps, you're gunna break up soon, ay!
Not a chance, Charlie. We'll be tap-dancing at your funeral, bub. Meantime just relax & bathe in the unlikely beauties of this, our eleventh, all-original, all-new, all-over-the-show record album.

- Can I have my socks back?